Well, who is to say that chemo works every time? Hearing the results of the PET scan today were to say the very least, disappointing and shocking… we figured since he had the nasty rash, and the nausea, and the raw hands and feet, that the chemo was doing it’s job… how wrong we were…
I was so excited to post the other night about Charlie finishing his treatments, but in life, nothing is a guarantee… his oncologist, Dr. Kayaleh and his thoracic surgeon, Dr. Herrera tag teamed him in the room to let him know that not only did it not reduce, it actually got a leetle bit larger. The decision made itself: Surgery is scheduled for February 2nd to go in and remove the bottom third of his left lung and a good possibility of more chemo after. They are planning to ‘petrie dish’ the tumor and see what chemo if any may work on it. So, for now, Charlie is having to take some time off to help his feet and hands recuperate from the effects of the chemo.
His spirits are good, he is very excepting… much more so than I… I am angry… and sad… as a caregiver, you just want your loved one to have no more pain, no more discomfort… so for now, I will continue my vigilance -rubbing the cramps and neuropathy out of his legs and feet… lotions and creams and medicines at all hours of the day and night; as caregivers, we do what we do because we love them… unconditionally…this is their show, their mortality… we persevere because we have to keep the cool heads, we have to be the tugboat pulling them out of the muck… and just love them… just love them….



15 Responses to Yes, the chemo is over, and no it didn’t work……..

  1. Mikey Fisher says:

    Someone once said to me “God never gives us more than we can handle, so you must be tough as hell to put up with cancer” I remember the moment so clearly because I thought of how wrong he was… The person in my life who is strong is not me, it is my wife. She sits on the bed and comforts me while im puking in a bucket. She rides the chair beside me while I journey through the ups and downs. She stays strong when chemo has taken every ounce of strength from me. It is the care giver who is the real hero in any cancer battle.

    While we are the ones who are plugged into God-knows-what poison this week, you are the ones who have to sit and watch. We are active in the fight and as such it feels like there is something we can and are doing… My wife has told me that she often feels idle and doesn’t know how to support me… She is the tough one, not me… I just lie there and receive a drip… she has to sit there and watch me do it.

    God bless you Val. It is more than okay to be angry. We are all angry. Eff Cancer. Charlie is a good man, and more than that, he is a lucky man. Lucky to have you in his life to wade through the trenches beside him. You have his back and more than anything, more than a cure or a slightly better prognosis, what he needs is you.

    Peace and Love,


    • Valerie Freeman says:

      God Bless you, Mikey… wow…… I cried reading this at work today… I just sighed in relief, and nodded my head and cried… thank you, truly for that; no one knows better than you the life of a cancer patient.. and bless your wife for being strong for you, so very glad she is your strength….Val

  2. KK says:

    NOVENA TO ST. Jude for Charlie. We love
    you Val.

  3. Don Govan says:

    I am so sorry to hear about this temporary set back. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

  4. danny joseph says:

    Val and Charlie- it’s a tag team fight but Allah is your corner man. Neat ,huh?

  5. Dave Guy says:

    We continue to think of you daily. Don’t ever lose your fighting spirit and determination. We’re looking forward to the next time we are together so Angie can finally get to dance with Charlie.

  6. Dwight Malally says:

    Alice and I continue to pray and think of both you and Val as you go through this journey together….Bless you both.

  7. Wendy chapman says:

    God works in mysterious ways,keep your hopes and spirits up,
    my prayers and with you both, Val you are an amazing women I have yet to meet you but feel I know you well,Charlie is a lucky man to have you by his side on this voyage….hugs to you both…..

  8. Valerie Freeman says:

    Bless you all for your love and good thoughts… they do help us both get through this knowing you are all there and thinking of us… truly, we are blessed……

  9. tracy crump says:

    love you cuz Charlie. I am praying for you. you are so strong, you will come thru this better than ever. Glad you have a caregiver that loves you & is by your side. I will say my prayers for you every night. you are in my heart.

  10. Val says:

    just read all these comments again… we are so blessed to have each and every one of you fighting for us…. It is so very uplifting… thank you all so very much….please keep the prayers coming…. love to you all!

  11. Michael Carver says:

    Dear Val and Charlie, you are both warriors in this strange battle that needs to be fought on a daily basis. Val you hold the keys to Charlies heart. As Mikey spoke so valently about you being a caregiver and you go through the same ups and downs, successes and yes downfalls that we go through. We take the chemo but moreso Valerie you watch, wonder, love,and cherish what is going on in Charlies system. We are never free from the chains that bound us “cancer” but the love that I personally receive from my wife Colleen of 30 years plus free’s my mind and soul so I can stay grounded and have a clear mind through all of this. God doesnt make junk. I heard that along time ago. We are made in his image and I believe that Charlie will have a long road of successes once you and him pass these bumps in the road of life. God Bless you Valerie and Charlie. Your friend Michael.

  12. Ann Norrie says:

    Hi Val and Charlie. Over the holidays was having some computer issues, one of which was emails. Have managed now to see how you and Charlie had such a wonderfull Christmas and the ‘Ringing of the Bell’. Like you Val, I thought this was going to be a positive outcome. SO very sorry it wasn’t the ‘end all be all’to Carlie’s cancer. You two have been on a long journey together. Your love holding steadfast, strong and true to each other. Unfortuneately, the journey continues. Having said that I think this outcome has a higher purpose to keep the journey focused on what you two have been through.You have been empowered by knowledge and awareness, have shared this with your families and friends. It is with this empowerment that will keep you going and warriors of the fight.Mickey and Michael, your friends, said it best about care givers Val.I personally have been there. I’ve have told you this before, YOU, yes YOU, is what sustains Charlie, of course not discrediting his meds. The power of the ‘human touch’, sustains us all.Gives our loved ones comfort and security in the knowledge, they are loved and cared for.Give yourself many a ‘high five’ and ‘pats on the back’. You are totally awesome! You and Charlie are one hell of a great team to win this game! I have no doubt about that. In closing, my prayers are always being sent. Remember, ‘If God brings you to it, He will see you through it’. ~hugs to both of you. Your friend, Ann

  13. BRuce Ross says:

    Hi Charlie and Val… I am just now getting caught up on FB following my own recent surgery and recovery. I am sorry to hear the interim report. Val, it is OK to be angry with this situation. Sharing the pain helps, and while Charlie is likely more worried about you than he is himself, we know it is hard for you both. Keep being there for one another… we are all there with you in spirit. Charlie, be strong, we all have your back and support Val and you. Keep us aware of how we can help, you have our prayers…

  14. Michelle says:

    I was on a personal mission today to make sure that all employees have their bracelets and to remind them of the dire consequences that would be thrust upon them should they not wear blue tomorrow! I love love love you both and the entire store will have you on their minds and in their prayers all day tomorrow. God bless!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>